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November 23 STRESSHey everybody,
Been a while huh!
So in any case, anyone got a cure for stress, that doesn't involve mad crazy breathing and lying in the sun.
My prob is, majorly stressed out cos of exams, to the point of catching the newest revolving flu, and still not being able to sit down to complete that major assignment or study for the exams coming up!
And I'm thinking of studying full time next year! :)
Thanks.......
Cec September 09 passion of a lustful heartThere she sat. Her face as pale as the clouds, lips like the blood dripping from his heart. Her eyes, soft, capturing the light reflecting of the window as she looked onwards with a loneliness. Her hands burned from steam, lay gently in her lap as she attempted to hide herself from the humiliation of his stare.
There he stood. His hair romantically flowing around his lonely, worn face. His eyes observing the smoothness of her skin, as his carved hands removed a brush from a jar next to him. Shaking as he touched the canvas.
She watched as his eyes moved from her to the canvas. Watched as his eyes sparkled to the paint in front of him.
He saw the picture light up with the colours of her skin as they hit the picture as a feather on water. He moved closer to her. Wanting the light to express her inner most emotion.
She watched as he walked over to her, like a wisp of wind wanting to explore the horizon in front. He moved around her examining her. She shielded her eyes from his. Not willing to let go of what was left of her.
He moved closer. Gently pulling at the cloth around her head, moving it to one side, away from her face. As he let go, touvhing her neck with such slight fingers.
She caught her breath as she felt him touch her neck. Her body trapped in a well of conciousness, for a flitter of a second.
He stood there, unable to move away for a moment, as if caught by a wave, unwilling to come to shore.
She saw him hesitate for an instant. She felt him look away, back to his canvas.
He slipped back to his canvas. After all Clouds were not just pale. They were blue, yellow and gray.
August 20 TransformationTo All who's souls search for that meaning beyond that of material;
Transformation. What a wonderful word. A word that conjours up imagery of walking with sun light on your back, sitting at the base of a tree that has seen many lives pass through, changing your life in all the ways you hoped.
To see her beautiful face looking up at me with such pure, wonderful innocence. To see the sparkle in her eyes and the whisps of sweet blond hair brushed over her face. To see a warm and friendly smile with such joy and wonder. To feel the hope and excitment in her hugs. To see a child that was once you. How could you even begin to think about leaving her behind. How could you leave her standing their alone waiting for someone to notice and speak softlly to. To hug and say it was ok. That love was all you needed to do when she felt hopeless and alone in a big unfamilliar world full of fear and deception.
I found her. She was next to me the whole time, waiting to be noticed and loved unconditionally. I picked her up into my arms and saw all the beautiful things i had left behind. All the important things full of truth. She was more beautiful then i can ever imagine. She held so much love and caring that i could hardly see from tears that rolled down my face in the purest of love and light i have ever felt. All she needed was that smile, that acceptance, that aknowledgement, that love from a soul that had died the day she was frightened and helpless.
I felt her merge into me as though she had never left, knowing that she had, but still intergrating her into my heart and soul. Her precious innocence sorely needed after years of neglect. No longer lonely. No longer sad. No longer empty.
Transformation. Funny enough although she was there the whole time. She was always me, now I am her, and I love her with all my might. August 07 friendshipsHello to all,
In this day and age i think it is important to have a little talk about what exactly it means to be a friend to someone and owhat it is to be human. I recently recieved a slighty hurtful email from someone whom I thought was a friend, funnily enuogh he seemed to have missed the whole point of my response to his lack of understanding. It seems that some people don't seem to realise that friendship isn't necessarily getting everything you want when you want it, or about feelings that in hinesight were so misguided, they are about understanding what someone is trying to reflect on.
I have a really great friend, we laugh whenever we see each other, which unfortunatly these days is rare, but when we have the time in our busy lives we meet up and it is just as it has been for years. We understand each other, care without questions and support each other whenever necessary. However as said before we don't get much time these days as when we were younger, but niether of us kick and scream about it, to us it is fine because we have this trust that has never been broken between us.
I think trust has so much to do with it, and to the person who doesn't seem to understand that I feel sorry for you, and hope that one day you may understand what trust is. Not just for you to trust but for others to trust you, though you might have to work harder at the latter. It seems that once people have what they want from you, whether it be a distraction from their dull lives, or selfish need to feel wanted, they go and turn around with the same distane and ungratefullness as a child. What i find the most discouraging about the situation i am talking about, is that I gave so much support and tried to give ideas that would stop the problems that you were having in your life. Anyway I think that this has proven something to me that although I knew was true, was not expecting. No matter the age of someone it doesn't really mean that they have any more maturity then an Adolescent.
What I am ashamed of is the lack of humanity. In this time, with all the pain and destruction in the world , being nice to each other in these circumstances where there isn't a threat of our lives, there shouldn't be a problem to be friendly and humane right???? MAkes me wonder about what kind of people are out there. Maybe they are all dogs with bones, but unlike a lot of us humans out there, there are a few who would be much more willing to give their bones to help others, rather then collecting more than 1 bone at any time because it makes them feel good to be sitting on a pile of bones that do not really matter or more powerful with their "possessions" which are nothing more then lies and greed, which is what the problem in this world is in the first place.
WE owe more to each other then that, otherwise who is looking and copying?
August 01 sums everything upWhen the night shows The signals grow on radios All the strange things They come and go, as early warnings Stranded starfish have no place to hide Still waiting for the swollen easter tide Theres no point in direction we cannot even choose a side. I took the old track The hollow shoulder, across the waters On the tall cliffs They were getting older, sons and daughters The jaded underworld was riding high Waves of steel hurled metal at the sky And as the nail sunk in the cloud, the rain was warm and soaked the crowd. Lord, here comes the flood Well say goodbye to flesh and blood If again the seas are silent In any still alive Itll be those who gave their island to survive Drink up, dreamers, youre running dry. When the flood calls, You have no home, you have no walls In the thunder crash Youre a thousand minds, within a flash Dont be afraid to cry at what you see The actors gone, theres only you and me And if we break before the dawn, theyll use up what we used to be. Lord, here comes the flood Well say goodbye to flesh and blood If again, the seas are silent In any still alive Itll be those who gave their island to survive Drink up, dreamers, youre running dry.
Peter Gabriel July 26 hateTouch my face and tell me what you feel,
See my soul and tell me if its real,
Fading, floating, surface deep,
tears in a jar from me to keep
Darkness closes in my mind,
Releasing nightmares so unkind,
Do you have to haunt my every move?
See my shaking, sweating, fearful groove.
Night time starts the scary tales,
Memories of blizzards and of gales.
Mindless, senseless, endless pain
Mixed in with emotional refrain.
See you staring as if in space,
Through my body to another place.
All lies, torture bleak regret
Years spent in a panic fret.
Show your smile, you laugh your hidden self,
manipulate others with the touch of an elf,
Hate, distrust, anger deceit,
Leave my mind and heart at my feet. |
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